That’s right.

I’ve discovered that I’m very adaptable (is that a word?) to different people. Let’s take IM (instant messaging) for example. If I chat to one person, I’m using one language and one “set” of “emoticons”. When I’m talking to someone else, I’m using another language. Every person I’m talking to has their own language and sets of emoticons. And of course, this doesn’t just go with IM, it goes with real life as well.

I find this kind of disturbing, to be honest. Sometimes it feels like I haven’t got my own personality, rather just a mix of my friend’s personalities. Well, of course I have my own personality, but it feels like I’m just a mix-up.

Hm. I think that’s all for today actually. I don’t write here a lot, I’m aware of that, and it’s nothing I’m going to change. You’ll just have to get used to this.

‘Til next time, good bye.

J

I’m fine with it, actually, because the ones that think this is emotional crap – I don’t need them. I’m perfectly fine without them. The ones who read this, I’ve no idea who that might be, and think I write about interesting stuff – thank you. This is for you.

Right now I’m having an “emotional moment”, I’m just sitting peacefully and listening to acoustic music. Pretty sad, yes, but it’s calming. I like these brief moments. I’m not thinking about anything in particular, just about life, about the poetry evening in school tonight, about you.

There’s a song called You’re Always on my Mind. I’ve no problems to see why that song became famous. Songs often become famous for three reasons:

• The lyrics are very, very true
• The singer’s got a good voice
• It’s a catchy melody.

In this case, it’s the first alternative that got this song famous. “You’re always on my mind” is a big expression. It could be about love, about hate, about feelings for another person. Someone you’re about to fall in love with, your ex – anyone that means something to you. And yes, there’s one person who almost constantly is on my mind. You know who you are, thanks for just being you. I love you for that.

My next post will be about adjustment to each other, I’ve found myself very adaptable to very different people, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. However, that’s for my next post. Who know when it might come – just keep your eyes open.

J

Any-who, “A new dawn”. The reason I chose that as the title is simple: I feel like I need a new dawn, a new start in my life. My habits are getting pretty repetitive, and I could use some… well, I don’t know. New friends? Maybe.

Very often, we know the answer to a question in our hearts. I’m not talking about the mathematical type of questions, but the questions that really means something. The big questions about life and love. Both of them are in my head constantly.

In the movies, I always thought “what’s the big problem?”, when there was this guy that didn’t have the courage to tell the girl he loved her. That question still pops up in my head sometimes, but now it’s real. This isn’t a stupid love movie – this is my life (and it’s ending one minute at a time, Fight Club quote). I wish there was some easier way to handle things like this, but I’ve got to face the facts: There are no shortcuts. You can’t cheat in life.

Listening to Joshua Radin, one of my absolute favourite singer-songwriters, makes things easier. Well, maybe not easier, but it feels like he knows exactly what I’m going trough, and makes songs about it. Incredible.

I don’t think my ego ever will let me write everything I feel, so this is what you get. So long.

J

I’m currently writing on a Swedish blog, and while all posts there are written in Swedish, I think this will fit for English, primary. I’m just 16 years old (17 in July), so pardon my sometimes broken English.

At this blog, I’ll probably write more about feelings and such, rather than what I had for lunch toady. When I enter a blog, that’s the kind of things I want to read, I don’t really care what that specific person did today, unless it’s a) someone I know, or b) something really interesting.

So. Feelings it is. Right now I have lots of feelings, but I think we should start this blog off easy. I’ll share a few feelings with you now, and maybe later on I’ll open up completely.

There’s a lot of things going on in my life, just like a normal teenager, I guess. School, of course, always tough. I have this fear of doing homework. I don’t know what it is, but the phrase “It can wait ’til tomorrow” is very common in my head, which of course is never good. I really need to get a grip, it simply can’t go on like this any longer.

Well, soft start it is, so let’s end here. Until next time, goodbye.

J